Writing Assignment #11, Draft 2

The Truth About...
After being alive for some time, one has found out that there are some things which are.... uncomfortable. Harsh. Cruel. Many things in life hurt, but the truth stings most of all. It makes us burn with shame, feel empty with longing, and causes people to scream, laugh, and cry. It’s simple and agonizing and clean. Like cutting yourself with a paring knife by accident while chopping potatoes, the truth is often painful and very surprising, causing one to swear and hop about in rage. A list of things which are true, but are not so nice when said out loud:
1.) There will never be complete world peace. Humans will be humans, and we are flawed and violent and selfish. It’s a fact which that shall horrify the many Miss Americas who have used it as their one wish, when in fact they actually just wanted to win.
2.) That pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie will not make the fact that Waldo Pimms did not ask you to the dance disappear. It will also not erase his girlfriend, or the pimple on your nose. It will definitely not make that quiz tomorrow go away either.
3.) That shirt that your sister borrowed and never returned? Well, it was ruined by a rogue Sharpie and she’s too mortified to give it back. Especially now that it says, “ Don’t force me to release the flying monkeys.”, which is just plain weird.
4.) Life is not like a chick flick. It’s heartbreaking when this is realized.
5.) You are never going to receive your Hogwarts acceptance letter. Probably because Harry Potter is fictional.
6.) Bobo, your beloved teddy bear, was eaten by your dog. He did not become alive and run away, contrary to your parents story.
7.) Santa Claus does not exist. Neither does the Easter Bunny, Cupid, or apparently Paris Hilton’s brain.
8.) People still haven’t forgiven you for eating the last cupcake during Jodie’s birthday party. Particularly because they were double chocolate and you had already had five.
9.) The Backstreet Boys aren’t cool anymore. Sadly, *NSYNC and Hanson aren’t either.
10.) Some people cannot seem to accept that it was an accident with the tanning lotion, and you do not enjoy looking like a cross between cheddar cheese and Ernie from Sesame Street. The company lied when they claimed it made your skin “shimmer with a soft bronze glow.”
11.) The only reason you hate going to the beach is because seagulls scare the crap out of you. Same with lakes and geese.
12.) You still sleep with a blankie.
13.) The deeply-rooted conflict between Israel and Pakistan is not showing any signs of stopping. This has been demonstrated by muffins being whacked together.
14.) Global warming is real, so please recycle. And ride your bike everywhere.
15.) Remember in kindergarten when your baby-sitter said she she had to use the bathroom, and disappeared for half an hour? She was actually smoking pot in your backyard and then had a nap, while you were forced to watch reruns of Teletubbies.

As Gloria Steinem once said, “The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” She failed to mention that it will piss other people off as well.

Writing Assignment #11, Draft 1

The Truth About...
After being alive for some time, one has found out that there are some things which are.... uncomfortable. Harsh. Cruel. Many things in life hurt, but the truth stings most of all. It makes us burn with shame, feel empty with longing, and causes people to scream, laugh, and cry. It’s simple and agonizing and clean. Like cutting yourself with a paring knife by accident while chopping potatoes, the truth is often painful and very surprising, causing one to swear and hop about in rage. A list of things which are true, but are not so nice when said out loud:
1.) There will never be complete world peace. Humans will be humans, and we are flawed and violent and selfish. It’s a fact which that shall horrify the many Miss Americas who have used it as their one wish, when in fact they actually just wanted to win.
2.) That pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie will not make the fact that Waldo Pimms did not ask you to the dance disappear. It will also not erase his girlfriend, or the pimple on your nose. It will definitely not make that quiz tomorrow go away either.
3.) That shirt that your sister borrowed and never returned? Well, it was ruined by a rogue Sharpie and she’s too mortified to give it back. Especially now that it says, “ Don’t force me to release the flying monkeys.”, which is just plain weird.
4.) Life is not like a chick flick. It’s heartbreaking when this is realized.
5.) You are never going to receive your Hogwarts acceptance letter. Probably because Harry Potter is fictional.
6.) Bobo, your beloved teddy bear, was eaten by your dog. He did not become alive and run away, contrary to your parents story.
7.) Santa Claus does not exist. Neither does the Easter Bunny, Cupid, or apparently Paris Hilton’s brain.
8.) People still haven’t forgiven you for eating the last cupcake during Jodie’s birthday party. Particularly because they were double chocolate and you had already had five.
9.) The Backstreet Boys aren’t cool anymore. Sadly, *NSYNC, Hanson, and Wham! aren’t either.
10.) Some people cannot seem to accept that it was an accident with the tanning lotion, and you do not enjoy looking like a cross between cheddar cheese and Ernie from Sesame Street. The company lied when they claimed it made your skin “shimmer with a soft bronze glow.”
11.) The only reason you hate going to the beach is because seagulls scare the crap out of you. Same with lakes and geese.
12.) You still sleep with a blankie.

As Gloria Steinem once said, “The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” She failed to mention that it will piss other people off as well.

Writing Assignment #10, Draft 3

Bath

Ama Fisher loved to take long, scalding hot bubble baths in the evening. On the night of April 16th, Ama, wearing her favorite fuzzy plaid bathrobe, trudged into her icy bathroom to indulge in her favorite pastime- sinking beneath perfumed mounds of foam and letting her mind wander. After scraping her knuckles while turning on the hot water, Ama gazed out the window and into the dark yard, which was currently obscured by chilly mist and rain. She glared morosely at the darkness, feeling slightly reassured by the blurry lights of the neighbors, and exhaled heavily on the pane, making it more opaque than it already was. Ama dragged her finger across the surprisingly cold and smooth glass, and wrote “I AM EMO”. She stared at it for a second, then wrinkled her nose in disgust and swiped her hand across the window, erasing the declaration. She was happy to say that she wasn’t actually emo, she just felt like it when it was particularly cold and rainy. Turning around, Ama saw that the bath was only half full of water, and, on a petulant whim, she poured the entire contents of Foxy’s Fabulous Forget-Me -Not and Fig Froth into the tub, hoping for big beautiful bubbles. Then she turned and faced the mirror. A split second later, she snorted in resignation and amusement at the sight of her bedraggled appearance. A combination of running the mile, the rain, and a melt down probably related to PMS, had created a rather depressing sight. Ama's mascara and electric green eyeliner had melted down and settled into the creases under her eyes. Her hair, (which could not seem to decide on whether to be blonde or brown) had dried oddly, resulting in Pride & Prejudice -worthy ringlets framing her face, but stick straight and frizzy everywhere else. Her face looked shiny and square, and her lips were so chapped that they were cracking as she smiled. Ama let her robe fall into a crumpled ball on the floor and kicked it aside with one foot. She stuffed her uncooperative hair into some semblance of a topknot, and stuck a single toe through the towering bubbles and into the blistering bath. Her cold feet stung and tingled as she stepped into the water, and lowered herself down, slowly being enveloped by fragrant foam . Within seconds, her entire body was buried, and she rested her head back on the towel on the tub’s rim, which was slowly soaking up moisture. Ama was too tall to properly fit into the bath, so she scooted her knees up so that they broke through the steaming bubbles like dripping, pale, mountains. While scrutinizing the large, wine colored bruise on her right kneecap, ( a product of her chronic clumsiness), Ama reflected that this was her only time to relax and be absolutely alone. When one has two younger siblings, it's hard to find peace and quiet. All other free time was taken up with homework, or band practice or doing chores. Bath time (like watching bad French movies and eating Ben & Jerry's), was one of her few indulgences. Humming tunelessly, she wiggled her toes, which were decked out with jet black nail polish, and absentmindedly scrubbed her elbows and stomach with a sudsy loofah. When all the bubbles had dissolved and evaporated, Ama heaved herself out of the tub, wrapped herself in a warm towel, and yanked a brush through her locks. After brushing her teeth and putting in her pink retainer, Ama put her bathrobe back on and watched the murky water spiral down, down, down the drain. The last of the foam popped softly in the bottom of the tub.

Writing Assignment #10, Draft 2

Bath

Ama Fisher loved to take long, scalding hot bubble baths in the evening. On the night of April 16th, Ama, wearing her favorite fuzzy plaid bathrobe, trudged into her icy bathroom to indulge in her favorite pastime- sinking beneath perfumed mounds of foam and letting her mind wander. After scraping her knuckles while turning on the hot water, Ama gazed out the window into the dark yard, which was currently obscured by chilly mist and rain. She glared morosely at the darkness, feeling slightly reassured by the blurry lights of the neighbors, and exhaled heavily on the pane, making it more opaque than it already was. Ama dragged her finger across the surprisingly cold and smooth glass, and wrote “I AM EMO”. She stared at it for a second, then wrinkled her nose in disgust and swiped her hand across the window, erasing the declaration. She was happy to say that she wasn’t actually emo, she just felt like it when it was particularly cold and rainy. Turning around, Ama saw that the bath was only half full of water, and, on a petulant whim, she poured the entire contents of Foxy’s Forget-Me -Not and Fig Froth into the tub, hoping for big beautiful bubbles. Then she turned and faced the mirror. A split second later, she snorted in resignation and amusement at the sight of her bedraggled appearance. A combination of running the mile, the rain, and a melt down probably related to PMS, had created a rather washed out Ama. Her mascara and electric green eyeliner had melted down and settled into the creases under her eyes. Her hair, (which could not seem to decide on whether to be blonde or brown) had dried oddly, resulting in Pride & Prejudice -worthy ringlets framing her face, but stick straight and frizzy everywhere else. Her face looked shiny and square, and her lips were so chapped that they were cracking as she smiled. Ama let her robe fall into a crumpled ball on the floor and kicked it aside with one foot. She stuffed her uncooperative hair into some semblance of a topknot, and stuck a single toe through the towering bubbles and into the blistering bath. Her cold feet stung and tingled as she stepped into the water, and lowered herself down, as she was enveloped by fragrant foam . Within seconds, her entire body was buried, and she rested her head back on the towel on the tub’s rim, which was slowly soaking up moisture. Ama was too tall to properly fit into the bath, so she scooted her knees up so that they broke through the steaming bubbles like dripping, pale, mountains. While scrutinizing the large, wine colored bruise on her right kneecap, ( a product of her chronic clumsiness), Ama reflected that this was her only time to relax and be absolutely alone. When one has two younger siblings, it's hard to find peace and quiet. All other free time was taken up with homework, or band practice or doing chores. Humming tunelessly, she wiggled her toes, which were decked out with jet black nail polish, and absentmindedly scrubbed her elbows and stomach with a sudsy loofah. When all the bubbles had dissolved and evaporated, Ama heaved herself out of the tub, wrapped herself in a warm towel, and yanked a brush through her locks. After brushing her teeth and putting in her pink retainer, Ama put her bathrobe back on and watched the murky water spiral down, down, down the drain.

Writing Assignment #10, Draft 1

Bath

Ama Fisher loved to take long, scalding hot bubble baths in the evening. On the night of April 16th, Ama, wearing her favorite fuzzy plaid bathrobe, trudged into her icy bathroom to indulge in her favorite pastime- sinking beneath perfumed mounds of foam and letting her mind wander. After scraping her knuckles while turning on the hot water, Ama gazed out the window into the dark yard, which was currently obscured by chilly mist and rain. She glared morosely at the darkness, feeling slightly reassured by the blurry lights of the neighbors, and exhaled heavily on the pane, making it more opaque than it already was. Ama dragged her finger across the surprisingly cold and smooth glass, and drew a cartoony flower. She stared at it for a second, then wrinkled her nose in disgust and swiped her hand across the window, erasing her floral decoration. Turning around, Ama saw that the bath was only half full of water, and, on a petulant whim, she poured the entire contents of Foxy’s Forget-Me -Not and Fig Froth into the tub, hoping for big beautiful bubbles. Then she turned and faced the mirror. A split second later, she snorted in resignation and amusement at the sight of her bedraggled appearance. A combination of running the mile, the rain, and a melt down probably related to PMS, had created a rather washed out Ama. Her mascara and electric green eyeliner had melted down and settled into the creases under her eyes. Her hair, (which could not seem to decide on whether to be blonde or brown) had dried oddly, resulting in Pride & Prejudice -worthy ringlets framing her face, but stick straight and frizzy everywhere else. Her face looked shiny and square, and her lips were so chapped that they were cracking as she smiled. Ama let her robe fall into a crumpled ball on the floor and kicked it aside with one foot. She stuffed her uncooperative hair into some semblance of a topknot, and stuck a single toe through the towering bubbles and into the blistering bath. Her cold feet stung and tingled as she stepped into the water, and lowered herself down, as she was enveloped by fragrant foam . Within seconds, her entire body was buried, and she rested her head back on the towel on the tub’s rim, which was slowly soaking up moisture. Ama was too tall to properly fit into the bath, so she scooted her knees up so that they broke through the steaming bubbles like dripping, pale, mountains. While scrutinizing the large, wine colored bruise on her right kneecap, ( a product of her chronic clumsiness), she let her muscles relax and sank even lower. Humming tunelessly, she wiggled her toes, which were decked out with jet black nail polish, and absentmindedly scrubbed her elbows and stomach with a sudsy loofah. When all the bubbles had dissolved and evaporated, Ama heaved herself out of the tub, wrapped herself in a warm towel, and yanked a brush through her locks. After brushing her teeth and putting in her pink retainer, Ama put her bathrobe back on and watched the murky water spiral down, down, down the drain.